College Rants

Work satisfaction?

In June, I began my first internship in my career field. It pays well, it’s experience, and it has been going great – or so I thought.

I was warned from some fellow acquaintances in a group I’m associated with through my school about how the previous girl in this position was yelled at and not treated very well. To the point where she cried. Fast forward to now, I cried 3 out of the 5 days I worked this week.

I don’t just blame it all on my job, granted I’ve had a lot of personal strife going on outside of work, but they definitely didn’t help it at all.

We sat down yesterday to go over what my hours will be when I begin my final chapter of my undergrad career. But, this quickly turned into an unplanned criticism of my work.

See, I wasn’t prepared for them to do this because that’s not what our calendar invited said. Our invite was to go over my schedule, not be a performance check-in.

If it was a performance check-in I would’ve been prepared with my strengths and weaknesses and areas of improvement – like is done for the rest of the company. But you see, I work in the part of the company where we analyze those things (come to the conclusion on your own of what industry it is) and so I guess the rules don’t apply to me.

I was told that a couple minor errors on a rough draft out of 50 or so steps meant that I didn’t have enough attention to detail. It was total criticism. They didn’t look at all of the perfect documents I’d created, but only focused on the negative. Is that supposed to make me feel like I’m qualified? Is it supposed to help me fix my mistakes? Is it supposed to make me want to stay?

No. It does the opposite. Don’t get me wrong, I love constructive criticism and being guided when I’m doing thing wrong, but tearing me down without an action plan is not what I’m here for. I’m not on this career path to be treated like a number. I know that I am capable of improving myself, giving back to the world, and so much more.

I know it’s vague and quite a conclusion from a small check in. But all I have to say is I should’ve listened when I was warned to not take this position. That the previous girl was yelled at until she cried and that there is no culture.

I’m not here to be treated like a number.

I’m a person.

So, in conclusion I’m job searching again. I haven’t told them and I won’t until I find something. I just know that I’m 20 years old, graduating in 1 year. I’m too young with too much life ahead of me to be in an environment that doesn’t have opportunity for growth.

College Rants

Balance

We have all heard phrases regarding how we need to live a balanced life, right? They are super inspiring and incite you to wanna take action.. But like the other phrase goes “it’s easier said than done”. 

I cannot think of a better saying to describe my life as a full-time college student who works part time, manages a floor of 50 freshmen, and maintaining a social life.  Balance is not possible.  I do not know if it gets easier later in life, but with changing class deadlines every 3 months, to helping others, my “balance” goes wild.

When I get overwhelmed from all of the stuff I am taking on, I have what I like to call my mini meltdowns. They stem from lack of sleep, lack of people interaction outside of work/ school, and sometimes just appear from nowhere.  What I appreciate about them though is that this slight emotional release is my bodies way of telling me that I need to breathe and try and schedule my time better.

This can be really hard to do, but I have developed some super useful ways to keep myself on track and a little less stressed out.  

  1. Google Calendar
    • Oh baby my holy grail. Without this I could NOT FUNCTION. Before each new quarter starts, I create a highly detailed google calendar with my class schedule, work schedule, RA duties, and personal time.  Yes I schedule time for myself because if I didn’t I would honestly neglect it.
      • On top of schedule all of these things I set reminders anywhere from 10-15 minutes before each task to help keep myself accountable. Trust me it works when you forgot about class and kept snoozing your regular alarm and wake up 10 minutes before class starts and have to run to class to get the attendance grade when you actually teach yourself everything outside of class..  I mean it helps me know when to walk out of the door because I am a perfect student (lol)
  2. Friendships
    • Although this may seem like a duh, my friends and those I have grown close to over the past year or so have sincerely helped me with my transition into a new place and helping me balance that personal side of things.  Just some time spent with a friend, even if it is just a quick lunch or coffee date, is one of the MOST needed things.
    • Not only are friendships important, but friendships outside of school/ work settings are needed as well because it can get unhealthy to not give your mind a break from the constant stimulation of things.  (even if you are not aware of it)
  3. Breathing/ Stress techniques
    • One of the awesome things about my jobs/ major is that we get to learn a lot about how to manage emotions of others and even our own.  I am so grateful for this and I wish that these types of self care routines were mandatory rather than let’s say math (sorry no sorry general education requirements).
    • 4,7,8 breathing has changed my life.  If you have not heard of this technique it is where you breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 7, and exhale for 8.  It can allow you to recenter yourself, become calm, and just take on hard tasks. I deal with a lot of stress and when people say just breathe, by golly just breathe.
    • Lastly, seeing stress as a challenge rather than a barrier. A lot of times we tend to shut down when feeling overwhelmed which can halt anything that we may be doing and this is negative.  Stress is known to cause health issues when seen as negative but when you view it as an obstacle you can overcome it can be a very positive part of life.  In my Organizational Behavior course we watched a TED Talk by Kelly McGonigal called How to make stress your friend and it goes more into that topic.
      • But to sum it up stress is only negative if you view it as that. I practice and constantly remind myself that I can get through anything I set my mind to and so can you.

I didn’t really intend this to turn into a lesson on how to “balance yourself” but these are just someways I keep myself in track and “balanced” for lack of a better term. I don’t think we should ever strive for complete balance or harmony because life is always throwing curve balls when you least expect it to. We should strive to be able to overcome and dodge those curve balls and have the proper skills within ourselves to know that everything will pass. 

I can hope that after my crazy busy college life that things will slow down, but I do enjoy fast-paced living and even without the schooling aspect I have a feeling that life will just continue to throw obstacles at me. I will do all that I can to be ready for that.

❤ J